First there is our regret over our own action or failure to act - a kind of guilty feeling. The high school student - if only I had begun studying earlier in the year. The driver after an accident - if only I had slowed down coming up to that pedestrian crossing, hadn't run through that red light, had noticed that yellow car... The relatives - if only we had heeded his cry for help, spotted the symptoms earlier, asked for a second opinion...
Then there is our regret over someone else's action or failure to act - often with a touch of anger and accusation. The high school student - if only the teacher had been fairer in marking my paper. The driver - if only that pedestrian hadn't raced out without looking, if only the driver of that yellow car had seen me coming... The relatives - if only his doctor had noticed the symptoms earlier, if only the doctor had called for tests and given the right diagnosis...
Often we evade personal regret by turning our regret towards someone else. Instead of personal guilt we are upset with that other person - angry and accusing.
Mary and Martha both greeted Jesus with words of regret. "If you had been here, my brother would not have died!" we find each of them saying (vv. 21,32) They had done their part, all that could be done - they had sent an urgent message to their friend Jesus. If anyone could have healed their brother Lazarus, Jesus could have done it. I'm sure that, while they waited, they continued with all appropriate care.
But Jesus hadn't arrived and their brother had died. The funeral had taken place and the body of their brother had already been in the grave for four days. It seemed so unaccountable that their friend hadn't arrived in time. He had been close enough to come quickly and meet their need. Even so they still trusted him, and Martha expressed that faith, "I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask" (v. 22). But their present grief was deepened with the regret - if only Jesus had been here...
Has that ever happened to us?
I'm sure that there are stories we could tell of answered prayer, of times when God has acted to lift depression, to heal the sick, to change circumstances for the better... From time to time people give a word of testimony about such an experience of God's faithfulness.
But what about the situations when we have prayed and our urgent request seems to have slipped by the Almighty's attention? In that situation some people have felt so deeply hurt that they turn away from God. Others of us don't do that, but it's never part of our testimony! And have we brought our accusation and anger to God? "Lord, if only you had done what we asked! Why didn't you protect us from this disaster? Where were you, Lord, in the time of our need?"
Back in v. 4 we hear Jesus saying something mystifying - "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."
Jesus had gone across the Jordan River with his disciples. He was in fact avoiding direct confrontation with his opponents - in 11.31 they threatened to stone him, and in v. 39 they once more tried to seize him.
It is in this light that we understand Jesus' deliberate delay when the messages came that his friend Lazarus was ill. For Jesus, the time had not come. To return to Bethany, so close to Jerusalem, was to set in train the events that would lead to the crucifixion, and that was to take place at the Passover. So certain did this appear that, when the decision was made to return to Bethany, Thomas says, "Let us also go, that we may die with him" (v. 16).
As we approach Good Friday and the Easter season, the raising of Lazarus is a key event to consider. The verses following our Bible reading make it clear that the raising of Lazarus was what triggered the Jewish authorities to make definite plans to kill Jesus. There were many reasons why the enemies of Jesus sought his death, but among them lay the raising of Lazarus.
We need to understand here that God doesn't play around with people's lives - as if it doesn't matter what happens to US! Jesus loves Martha, Mary and Lazarus. The loving plan of God will lead to the raising of Lazarus, the comforting of Martha and Mary and the sacrificing of Jesus as the Passover Lamb for us all. God has a concern, which we find hard to grasp, to fulfil his perfect will for every one of us - and his will for us is good!
In the Murgon cemetery there is a little grave with a heart-shaped headstone marking the death of a five-year-old boy, Kenneth Blackburn - my eldest brother whom I never knew. I remember the first time I ever saw it and reflected on the date - the same day on which the third son was born! Kenneth died in the morning. David was born in the afternoon.
All that happened nearly four years before I came on the scene and it was not a circumstance of which my parents spoke, though a small photo of him was in the house and in later years the revelation that he was always included whenever they thought of the family.
Paul affirmed in Rom. 8.28 that "God works all things together for good with those who love him..." It's fine to say that when things are going well, but circumstances can sometimes be so tough that we ask, "Why? Why should this happen? What earthly good can come of this?" It's easy to affirm - afterwards - when Lazarus has been raised, but is it still true when the evil circumstance hasn't been reversed?
Paul is not saying that all things will necessarily be good, nor that everything will turn out in the "good" way we desire, but that God will be at work for good in our lives, no matter what happens. Mary and Martha received their brother Lazarus back from the grave. But that wasn't forever. He died again some time later - as Mary and Martha did themselves!
But - Jesus himself died. He died for our sins. He died to bring us forgiveness. He died to bring us the gift of eternal life - beginning now and going on forever. Jesus is the resurrection and the life - whoever lives and believes in him will live forever, even though they die to this physical life. Do you believe this? Do you live trusting in him?
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