Not Me, Lord!

Not Me, Lord! is a reflection by an un-named disciple. Because of the references, you can narrow down the possibilities if you desire, but I do insist that, in concept, it is not Judas Iscariot. "One of you is going to betray me" (v.21b). Surely this was met first with bewilderment that any of them could do such a thing, then with wondering about some of the others, then with personal soul-searching (the "Surely not I, Lord!" in Matthew and Mark).

Reader:John 13.21-22.
Disciple:He says one of us will betray him. But who? No one has taught as he has taught - with perception, wisdom and authority! He's amazing! And the miracles...! I, for one, am convinced Peter was right in calling him the Messiah, the Son of God! We're a close-knit, loyal group of followers! Who would betray him?

Peter, perhaps - he's a bit strong-headed! James and John are inclined to be fiery - they overstep the mark! I wonder about Thomas over there, or Bartholomew... Nathanael's our Bible scholar - perhaps he's got contacts with the Jewish authorities. I wonder which one of them he is talking about. Who would betray him?

But as for me... yes, Lord, as for me... what can I say? I have loved you, Lord, but... what will I do under pressure? I, too, was wanting that first place in your Kingdom - but you said it wasn't for me! Your teaching is wonderful, amazing, Lord, but what are you calling me to do next? I'm not you, Lord! Don't expect me to be! I can't stand it! And I can't stand the foot-washing, either!

Who is it, Lord? Why are you looking at us all... at me?

Reader:John 13.23-30.

From Between the Lines. Dialogues for Worship by Peter J. Blackburn published by Testimonium Fellowship 1992, © Peter J. Blackburn.
Permission is given for copying of this document for local use with this copyright notice intact. For any other proposed use the specific permission of Peter J. Blackburn must be sought.

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